Adventures in Bennionland

A sprinkling of conversations had at our house today:

Will: “Mom I need to go poop!”
Me: “Ok Will, you can go all by yourself.”
Will: “No, I need your help.”
Me: “Ok, I’m coming.”
(the event occurs…I don’t like to talk about it)
Will: “Mom, I told you the poop was coming. I squeezed my bum cheeks to hold it in, and then I did a poop. And it’s a daddy-size poop.”
Me: no words…just smiling and trying not to laugh.
Will: “See Mom, no accidents!” ~ smiling with absolute pride

Walker: “Fix this Momma” (as he comes up to me with Mr. Potato Head)
Me: “What happened to him?” (holding the body, in tact, of Mr. Potato Head)
Walker: “His bum fell off” (referring to the back slat of Mr. Potato Head which is in his hands)

(in his room playing with a truck)
Will: ” Now make sure you wipe your penis.”
Will (as the truck): “I don’t have a penis.”
Will: “Yes you do.”
Will (as the truck): “No I don’t. I have a foob.” (not quite sure what that is exactly)
Will: “Oh yeah. Well make sure to wipe your foob.”

Wish I‘d Known That #2,476: Home Depot sells toilet augers for less than $20.

Yesterday I called my Aunt Patti, who was with my Grandma at the hospital waiting to talk to my Grandpa’s doctor. I figured they would need a laugh – so I told them the story I am about to tell you. But first let me back up in time…

On August 18th, 2007 Eric and I paid $190 for a pair of underwear. I know, you are all thinking we were trying something new in our ‘Special Mommy & Daddy time’. Nope. The underwear looked like this:

Yep. Potty pants. My friend and former co-worker Kim had given us some wonderful cotton potty training pants. And they’ve been great. So on August 18th we were right in the midst of potty training – you might remember this entry. Well on that fateful day we ended up having to call the plumber at Rescue Rooter to fish those unders out after Will had flushed them down.

Lesson learned right?

Nope. Not quite.

Now let’s move back in time again…

Yesterday was one of those days as a parent that makes me start searching both Craigslist for anyone interested in buying two kids and Monster for a new job.

The climax of the events was running, in what felt like slow motion, down the hall as I heard the start of the toilet flushing. Walker had an accident so I was hurrying to clean up his room (it was nap time) of the mess – having put him in the bath to rinse off some of the mess (see you are getting the scope of what my day was like aren’t you!!). Well I made the mistake of thinking that with Walker in the tub and Will by my side that the unders would be safe in the toilet until I could rinse them.

Boy was I wrong.

So last night, at 10pm, the friendly plumber arrived again and we purchased our second pair of $190 underwear. By this time I’ve just decided on community college for the kids since I’m slowly emptying their college savings to pay the plumber.

What I wish I would have known was provided by my Grandma, who sweetly mentioned via email that she loved my story, it made her laugh, and (in her words):

I think you should invest in a $14.95 snake at Home Depot to fish those pants out of the toilet. I had one that used to work in most cases. Only a few required major help.

Pssst – No one dare mention that throwing the underwear out would have been a cheaper option too. I, unfortunately, became aware of that as I was typing this post. I am now going to go drown my sorrow in a bowl of sugar free, Weight Watcher approved, ice cream.

You think that just because your child has started rolling, then eating big boy food, then crawling, and then walking, and then talking that you have hit all the firsts. In fact the first year, or two, are so filled with big events that you forget how precious other firsts are. I’ve failed to blog about a lot of firsts…but today we experienced a big one.

Will started preschool. He has been excited for preschool all summer as we’ve been working on potty training so that he could go. Last week we had the meet & greet and he was thrilled to meet the other kids and play with the toys. Today he was more apprehensive about going, which had more to do with having to leave his toys behind.

Today was a short day so that the kids could get used to their teachers and the room. Some kids needed to get used to now having mom and dad around, but for Will that wasn’t an issue. He was more than happy to kiss me goodbye and walk in.

This moment is special for me not just because of the experience that Will is about to embark on, but also for the time that Walker and I will now get to have. Being second child isn’t any easy role. Since I am the oldest (as is Eric) we of course think that first children get the raw deal…but the reality is that each kid is subjected to the good and bad of parenting.

Having Will at preschool twice at week for a couple of hours will give Walker and I time we haven’t ever had before. He thrives when he gets to play on his own or when just he and I read stories. I cannot wait to experience this first with him – and see what other first emerge from it. I’ll keep you all updated as I can.

For now, here are some pictures from Will’s first day: